12 May 2010 4 Comments

Arsehole Rules (additional information)

The only recording of this that I have come across is from Oscar Brand album called:

Bawdy Briny Ballads: Oscar Brand Sings Sea Porn

He has sanitised it a bit, and it is sung with a ridiculous british accent under the title “backside rules”. You can purchase this song from the Smithsonian Folkways site, but just having a double check it does not seem to be listed any longer. I have lodged an enquiry with them and hope to update soon.

**UPDATE** Folkways have gotten back to me saying they no longer have the rights to sell this album so it’s been taken off the list, unfortunately you’ll have to try and get a second hand copy.

An equally ridiculous version with an accordion can be found here:

http://www.horntip.com/mp3/2000s/2004_salty_dicks_uncensored_sailor_songs_(CD)/02_asshole_rules_the_navy.htm

4 Responses to “Arsehole Rules (additional information)”

  1. Jack Horntip 8 June 2010 at 2:57 pm #

    There is a “navy” song that ends in “Asshole rules the navy”. I think I have collected two versions of this song.

    Sambo was a lazy coon,
    Who used to sleep in the afternoon,
    So tired was he, so tired was he.
    Off to the forest he would go,
    Swinging his bollocks too and fro,
    When along came a bee, a bloody great bumble bee,
    Bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz.
    Get away you bumble bee, I ain’t no rose,
    I ain’t no syphilitic flower, get off my fucking nose.
    Get off my nasal organ, don’t you come near.
    If you want a bit of fanny, you can fuck my granny,
    But you’ll get no arsehole here.

    Arsehole rules the Navy, arsehole rules the Navy,
    Arsehole rules the navy, but you’ll get no arse from me.

  2. tracey olson 30 July 2010 at 6:16 am #

    Now I see where you assholes come from. “Sambo was a lazy Coon”??? I am Icelandic. Whiter than any of you homoes could ever hope to be. In my country, we hang people like you up from the nearest tree. Now, I live in Canada. Vancouver, BC. I hope that you inbred dummies stay where you are…far away from me!! However, you have my email, and if you are not cowards I will give you my actual address, so that you can come and meet me face to face. I will ***DELETED BY EDITOR *** and all of your mothers too. In my country KIWIS are FRUITS anyway.

  3. stefan 1 August 2010 at 11:00 pm #

    Hi Tracey,

    Thanks again for your comment and continued interest in our site. I will again try to respond to your comments one by one:

    1) That lazy coon reference is an unfortunate typical example of the racism that existed back in the day, and seems to still exist among certain Icelanders towards the proud New Zealand nation.

    2) I struggle to believe that you are whiter than any of us could ever hope to be, you should see my brother when he takes his shirt off. The glare would make your pupils dilate to the size of pin pricks. He has actually been offered to stand next to solar energy plants to increase their output.

    3) As far as the death threat goes, I truly find it hard to believe you would hang me from the nearest tree, as in Iceland due to all the volcanic activity the nearest tree could be a three day trek, and would not be worth the effort.

    4) As to the challenge for a fight, I am legally required to tell you of my status as a New Zealander. Although seemingly we have a peaceful loving nature, since the Lord of the Rings came out the government thought it would be a good idea to train us to fight like the good guys, just in case.

    I spent three years training to look, speak and fire a bow like Legolas so I wouldn’t push me too far unless you want me sliding down a volcano and firing thirty arrows in your arse.

    5) Lastly, yes in your country kiwis are fruits – we call them kiwifruit. But you may be interested to know that the kiwifruit originated in China and was called the Chinese Gooseberry until we stole it and made it awesome.

  4. brian phillips 16 May 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Spot on Stefan, nothing like a bit of good natured banter! :-)) I wonder what all the rest of our traditional shanties would sound like if all were translated into P.C. God forbid.


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