6 January 2013 0 Comments

Virgin Sturgeon

Caviar comes from virgin sturgeon;
Virgin sturgeon’s a very fine dish.
Very few sturgeon are ever virgin,
That’s why caviar’s a very rare dish.

Caviar comes from virgin sturgeon;
Virgin sturgeon’s a very fine fish.
Virgin sturgeon needs no urgin’;
That’s why caviar is my dish.

I fed caviar to my girl-friend;
She was a virgin tried and true.
Now my girl-friend needs no urgin’,
There isn’t anything she won’t do.

I fed caviar to my grandpa;
He was a gent of ninety-three.
Shrieks and squeals revealed that grandpa
Had chased grandma up a tree.

Father was the keeper of the Eddystone light,
And he slept with a mermaid one fine night.
Results of this were off-spring three;
Two were fishes and the other was me.

The postman came on the first of May;
The policeman came on the very same day.
Nine months later there was hell to pay:
Who fired that first sho , the blue or the gray?

Little Mary went a-sledding,
And her sled turned upside down.
Now little Mary’s singing,
“M’ass is in the cold, cold ground.”

Shad roe comes from scarlet shad fish
Shad fish have a very sorry fate.
Pregnant shad fish is a sad fish,
Got that way without a mate.

The green sea turtle’s mate is happy
With her lover’s winning ways.
First he grips her with his flippers,
Then he grips and flips for days.

Mrs. Clam is optimistic,
Shoots her eggs out in the sea,
Hopes her suitor is a shooter,
With the self-same shot as she.

Give a thought to the happy codfish,
Always there when duty calls.
Female codfish is an odd fish;
From them come codfish balls.

Oysters they are fleshy bivalves.
They have youngsters in their shell.
How they diddle is a riddle,
But they do, so what the hell.

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