17 May 2015 0 Comments

Stefan’s Gay Lament

By Sam Leary 2014


Oh me wife said go! so I stood up
and away an away i went to the pub
I walked down old Miami drive
and there at Malone’s i did soon arrive

well the lights were on there was music inside
and there were people i did know
i started to drink and to talk out of me arse
i drank all my money and i drank it fast

“now who shall buy poor stefan a pint?!”
“for ive spent all my money on this fine night”
as soon as the free drinks were all gone
stefan found a buddy and he latched on….

So i challenged this man to a noble duel
that would take place as a game of pool
whomever so should happen to win the round
shall be given drink on the losers pound

Now the terms were set and agreed upon
and soon twas I was the losing one
I said “good sir i have lied to you”
“for I have as much money as ive skill in pool”

He said never mind and he brought me more
and we drank till the pub did close its door
all of the drunks were now stood outside
“I need more drink!!” poor stefan cried

the man said ive more brew of me own
if any of ye wud like tay follow me home
the mob did agree and we all did go
away and aw-a down a Waiheke road…

Soon i looked around and me crew were gone
and me and the man we were all alone
“is this some sort of gay thing?” i said to the night
“no” said the man “everythings alright”

Well good says i and on we sped
until we came to me new mates shed
we had more drink and then he looked at me and said
“do you know stefan that i have a spa

“this is not appropriate” stefan said he explained
“i have a wife and im not gay!”
why dont we just now call it day
then he said we went and put his clothes on

who could say what really happened next?
for poor wee stefan he never said
did he go a-home and go straight to bed?
or did he have a snuggle wid the gay man?

His wife said he come home with no pants
and he was soaking head to toe
and that was the tale of our bold stefan clist
or at least thats the story he told……….

THE END……..or was it?

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